How To Find Love At Any Stage Of Your Life: Never Give Up On Finding Love

I recently attended a family function where I met many of my beloved relatives I had not seen for years. As I talked to one of my cousins, she told me she’d given up on finding love. She’s 45 years old, has never been married, and has no child. My heart went out to her because I believe in love and that you can find love at any stage of your life.

I tried to find out from my cousin why she’d given up on finding love. She said that men are not interested in her, so, she’s not met anyone. She also said she’s unlucky when it comes to matters of love. That the few guys who’d shown an interest in her were jokers. She concluded that at 45, she was too old to find love.

My cousin is beautiful, bubbly, and kind. People always wonder why she hasn’t found love. What do men look for? 

After listening to her, I reassured her that she can find love at any stage of life. I encouraged her to never give up on finding love. 

How To Find Love At Any Stage of Your Life

Are you like my cousin? Has love been elusive? The good news is that love is always in the air. You can find love at any stage of your life if that’s your heart's desire.

Here are things you can do to find love at any stage of your life.

Decide That You Want To Find Love

To find love at any stage of your life, start by deciding that you want to find love. When you decide that you want to find love, you’ll be on your way to finding it.

I have met people who are not sure whether they want to find love or not. One of my friends who is a widow says she’d like to give love a chance. However, when a guy shows interest in her, she develops cold feet.

She’s looking for love but hasn’t fully decided that she wants to give love another chance. That’s one of the reasons she hasn’t found love.

Let me add that you should not allow people to pressure you into finding love. That is likely to backfire. The decision to find love should be your own decision – when you’re ready.

After deciding that you want to find love for sure, then go for it.

Always Look Good to Find Love At Any Stage Of Your Life

When you’ve decided that you want to find love, start working on how you look. Your appearance matters to your future partner. People are first attracted to looks because it’s what they see first. 

I don’t mean you should be good-looking or have the best figure to find love. However, since you’re now in the market looking for love, your looks do matter.

Here’s what working on your looks may entail:

  • Keeping fit.
  • Taking care of your skin.
  • Getting a neat hairstyle or haircut.
  • Wearing clean and well-pressed clothes.
  • Wearing well-fitting clothes.
  • Wearing a good pair of shoes.
  • Putting on some simple makeup.
  • Wearing some perfume or cologne.

So, put your best foot forward – look good always. You never know, your appearance could draw someone to you.

If You Want To Find Love Don’t Worry About What People Will Think

One of the reasons you have not found love could be that you worry about what people will think about you. 


For instance, you are divorced or widowed, and you’d really like to find love again. However, you hesitate because you worry about what people will think about your decision.

People may have various opinions about you finding love after the above scenarios. Some might think you are on a rebound, others may think you are moving on so fast because you didn’t love your spouse deeply, etc.

You know what? People will always have an opinion about anything. The fear of what people will think can hold you back from finding love.

So, if you want to find love at any stage of your life, don’t worry about what people will think or say. All that matters is what you want. Follow the desires of your heart.

To Find Love Don’t Be Afraid of Getting Hurt 

If you’ve been hurt in the past, you might be afraid of finding love because of the fear of getting hurt again. 


You therefore put up a wall that is hard for anyone to penetrate. So, if someone is interested in you, you don’t allow them to get very close to you because of your fear of getting hurt. 


Your relationships therefore end up being superficial and shallow. Once the person pursuing you realizes that you’ve put up an impenetrable wall around you, they walk away. You end up having relationships that don’t last.

If you want to find love at any stage of your life, allow yourself to be vulnerable. Take the risk of the possibility of getting hurt in your pursuit of love. If you don’t take the risk, you’re unlikely to find love.


As the saying goes, “You Have to Kiss a Lot of Frogs (Toads) Before You Meet Your Handsome Prince”: Wolfgang Mieder. Remember that some of the frogs and toads you meet before you find your true prince/princess are likely to hurt you.

So, don’t be afraid of getting hurt when looking for love. When you finally find love, all the hurt and pain you experienced along the way will be a thing of the past. 


To Find Love Let People Know You Are Single And Ready To Mingle

Are you single or do you want to find love after losing your spouse, getting a divorce, or after a breakup? Then, you have to let people know you are single and ready to mingle. 

Suppose you don’t let them know? In that case, they’ll assume you’re not ready to move on. Remember, not every single person is ready to mingle.

I’m not suggesting that you should shout from the rooftop that you are single and ready to mingle. Just let people know subtly that you are ready to give love a chance.

Here are things you can do to let people know you’re single and ready to mingle:

  • Tell your family and friends that you are ready to give love a chance. 
  • Remove any rings from your fingers to show that you’re single.
  • Update your social media status to single. 
  • Avoid hanging out with people of the opposite sex because people might assume you’re taken and happy.

When people know you’re single and ready to mingle, they’ll not be afraid to hook you up. In addition, those who are also looking for love will approach you with confidence.

Avoid Being Too Choosy When Looking For Love


When I was single, I had a list of the things I was looking for in a future husband. I had read a lot of romantic novels, and so one of the things I wanted was a tall, dark, and handsome guy. I also wanted a humorous and spontaneous guy, etc.


Guess what? I got a handsome, good guy. All the other things on my list were missing. When love came calling, I threw my list out of the window. And we’re still going strong, two decades and counting.


Do you have a list of the things you’re looking for in a partner? Some things people look for in a potential partner may include the following:

  • Tall, dark, and handsome
  • A six-pack
  • Financially stable
  • Humorous
  • Adventurous
  • Smart
  • Romantic
  • Beautiful
  • Blond
  • Brunette
  • Hourglass shape

It’s okay to have a list, but don’t be too choosy. If you’re too choosy, your search for love could be elusive. 


You see, nobody can match your requirements 100%. 


It’s best to focus more on the personality traits instead of the physical appearance of the person. I believe it’s better to have a good heart than a good appearance.


For instance, if you find chemistry with a good person who is diligent and committed, you’re good to go. 


Put Yourself Out There To Find Love


Some people find love when they’re not looking for it. Others fall in love at first sight. However, some people have to work harder to find love at any stage of their lives.


In my earlier article – how to make new friends easily, I mentioned that you can’t meet new people if you don’t put yourself out there. 


The same applies to finding love. If you want to find love at any stage of your life, it’s important to put yourself out there.


Putting yourself out there when looking for love means coming out of your comfort zone. For instance, if you’re a loner and want to find love, you must get out of the house. You can try to become more social so that in the process, you can find someone with whom you really connect.


Here are ways you can put yourself out there when looking for love at any stage of your life:


Join church groups


Instead of running home after church, join some church groups that interest you. Many people have found love in church and you could be one of them.

Below are some church groups you could join:

  • The choir
  • Mission and evangelism group
  • Widows and widowers group
  • Singles group
  • Young adults group
  • Young professionals group

Volunteer in your local community


Volunteering in your local community is a great way of putting yourself out there. As you volunteer, you meet and interact with different people. You could find love in the process of volunteering.


Here are places where you can volunteer in your local community:

  • Your neighborhood cleanup program
  • A hospital
  • A community center
  • An animal shelter
  • A charitable group


Join a group of like-minded people

This is another great way of putting yourself out there. By joining a group of like-minded people, you interact, talk, and enjoy their company as you do something you love. You could develop chemistry with one of the people in the group.

Here are examples of groups of like-minded people you could join in the hope of finding love:

  • A Zumba group
  • A meditation group
  • A club
  • A gym
  • A book club
  • A biking group
  • A widows and widowers group
  • A singles group
  • A professionals group
  • A food lovers' group
  • A dog walkers’ group
  • A political party
  • A meditation group
  • A parent meet-up group


You see, when you put yourself out there by joining groups of like-minded people, you expand your social circle. You get to do something you enjoy and meet new people, and if you’re lucky, one of the people you meet could end up becoming your love. It’s a win-win for you.


Use Online Apps To Find Love At Any Stage Of Your Life 

Do you know you can find love at any stage of your life from the comfort of your home? Yes, you can find love without leaving your house, thanks to technology. 


There are numerous apps you can use when looking for love. Using online apps to find love is a way of putting yourself out there.

Online dating is now part of the modern dating culture. It has revolutionized the way people looking for love meet and connect. 

Looking for love has never been easier or more convenient thanks to online dating apps


You simply look for a reputable online dating site, sign up, and fill in your profile details. This includes your age, education, country, hobbies, interests, location, preferences, etc. 

Remember to be genuine while filling out your profile so that you start on the right footing.  

The dating apps then use a matchmaking algorithm to match you with potential partners.

Once the algorithm finds matches for you, the app enables communication between you and the matches. You can therefore start communicating with your matches using in-app video chat, calls, messaging, etc.


Once you develop chemistry with one of your matches, you can decide to meet in person.

Some of the online dating sites are free, while others charge a small fee.


Here are some reputable online dating sites you can join today:

  • Facebook dating Groups
  • Tinder
  • eHarmony (for Christian dating)
  • OkCupid 
  • Elite Singles (for professionals)
  • Cupid
  • Love Me
  • Afro Introductions (for interracial dating)
  • Christian Mingle (for Christian dating)


If you want to find love at any stage of your life, now is a great time to try online dating.

Remember to follow the rules on the dating sites you join. This enables you to have a trouble-free and awesome online dating experience.

Be Open-minded To Find Love At Any Stage Of Your Life 

When you’re looking for love at any stage of your life, it’s best to be open-minded. The reason is that love can come in the most unexpected package.


Sometimes, people go looking for love far and wide while their soul mate is just nearby.

So, have an open mind and look for love even around you. Maybe that person you’ve been ignoring for years is your soul mate. 

Here’s how being open-minded when looking for love at any stage of your life may look like:

  • Make a connection with that person you’ve always liked but dismissed because of their age.
  • Connect with that person you admire in your neighborhood that you’ve always dismissed because you’d not like a partner from nearby.
  • Reconsider that family friend who likes you, but you consider them as a brother/sister.
  • Give a second look at that person you've put in the friend zone.
  • Consider that person who likes you, but you keep dismissing them because of their race.

You see, it’s possible to develop a genuine connection with a person who doesn’t fit your definition of an ideal partner. 


If you’re not open-minded you’ll never find out whether you could have eventually developed chemistry with that person. 

So, is there someone you’ve been dismissing? Give them a second look. Your soul mate could be right in front of your eyes. 

Make A Move To Find Love


Suppose you meet someone you think you’d like to pursue a relationship with. In that case, it’s best to make a move. 


Making a move lets the other person know that you’d like to become their friend. If the person is interested in becoming your friend, they’re unlikely to resist you. 


Making a move can be difficult whether you’re a man or woman but you can do it successfully if you are determined to find love.


Here are moves you can make on a potential partner:


Engage the person in a conversation


When you talk to the person, you’ll get to know something about them and they’ll also know something about you. You don’t have to talk about complex issues in your conversation. Keep it simple and interesting.


For instance, you can talk about current events, your hobbies, and interests. 

Engaging the person in a conversation is a great icebreaker. It helps you to continue the conversation the next time you meet.


Keep the conversation going


After your first conversation with your crush, it’s best to keep the conversation going after the meeting. If you have their phone number, you can keep the conversation going by sending them something interesting on WhatsApp. 


For instance, you could send a joke someone has forwarded to you or something motivational.


If they respond to what you’ve sent them, it’s a good sign that they want to keep talking to you.


Keep talking but avoid overwhelming the person with too many messages. Just send them an impersonal message every now and then. That way, you'll not appear desperate.


Invite the person to an activity


If the other person shows a mutual interest in you, you can make a bold move of inviting them to an activity. By now, you know a few things the person likes. 

Remember to make the invite sound casual so that you don’t scare the person.


Here are some activities you can invite your crush to:

  • A pizza deal at your favorite joint
  • A sporting event
  • A concert
  • A function at your church

When you invite the person to an activity, you get to spend time with them. You get to know them more and your relationship continues to grow gradually.


Be vulnerable


As your relationship continues to grow, it’s good to be vulnerable at a certain point in your relationship. 


Being vulnerable is the only way you can find out if the person is interested in pursuing a serious relationship with you. You can also find out if the person just wants a fling with you.


Being vulnerable is telling the person how you feel. It’s not easy to be vulnerable but as we said earlier, you should not be afraid of getting hurt when looking for love.


You can start by telling the person that you like them and that you enjoy their company.


If the other person’s feelings are mutual, it’s a sign that the relationship is worth pursuing. You could be on your way to finding love.


Avoid Being Desperate When Looking For Love


If you want to find love at any stage of your life, avoid being desperate. This applies to both women and men. A person who is desperate when looking for love tries to do anything to snag a woman or a man.


Interestingly, the more desperate you are, the more unattractive you become, and the more you repel future partners. So, although you’re looking for love, avoid being desperate because your chances of finding love become more elusive.


If you don’t want to appear desperate when looking for love, kindly avoid the following:


Going for everyone who shows an interest in you 


As you age, you may feel like time is running out. You may therefore be tempted to go for anyone who shows an interest in you. This is a sign of desperation and you could end up with the wrong person.


Being always available


Being always at the beck and call of someone could be a sign of desperation. The person may start thinking that you don’t have a life. This could repel your future partner.


Always trying to please the person


If you change things about yourself to please the person or agree with whatever they say to please them, it could be a sign of desperation. Just be yourself and they’ll love you for who you are.


Being clingy


If you find yourself texting or calling the person constantly, it could be a sign of being clingy. The other person could interpret this as a sign of desperation and it could scare them away. Give the other person space and ensure that they also respect your space.


Making sexual advances too quickly


When you make sexual advances too quickly, you could appear desperate. 


If you’re a man, you could appear desperate to show your prowess in the hope of bagging the woman. 


If you are a woman you could appear desperate to please.


Moving in with someone too quickly


A man or woman who moves in with a new catch quickly may appear desperate to settle down. Such a rushed relationship may not stand the test of time. 

Dressing provocatively


If you’re constantly dressing provocatively to impress your new-found catch, it could be a sign of desperation. You can do this by wearing expensive accessories, clingy clothes, heavy makeup, etc. Be yourself and allow the person to like you for who you are.

Constantly dropping hints about marriage


Your goal is to eventually settle down. However, if you keep dropping hints of marriage to someone you hardly know, they could think you’re desperate. Their chances of fleeing are very high.

Using pet names too quickly


If you call your new-found friend pets names after a few conversations, they could think you’re desperate for love. They could flee especially if they don’t yet know how they feel about you. Such pet names include dear, honey, baby, sweetheart, darling, etc.

Remember that desperation and neediness don’t bring you love. Instead, they drive potential partners away. On the other hand, when you don’t appear desperate, you attract a potential partner without much effort.

Keep Hope Alive To Find Love At Any Stage Of Your Life


This post would not be complete without this awesome tip. Keep hope alive when looking for love. This means that you should believe you'll find love at any age and at any cost. That true love is out there, it’s meant for you and it’ll come to you one day.  


When you embrace such a positive attitude, your chances of finding love at any stage of your life increase tremendously.



Love is a beautiful thing that you can find at any stage of your life. Never give up on finding love. 

I hope these tips on how to find love at any stage of your life will be helpful to you. All the best in your search for love.

At what stage of your life did you find love? Kindly share your experience in the comments section below.

Also read: 10 Reasons Why Marriage Fails; What’s Ailing Your Marriage?


I'm a life coach, teacher, mother, wife, writer, and blogger. I love writing about well-being, relationships, and family.

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